Today Master Blaise asked me why I had undertaken my Quest.
After mulling it over for a moment, I told him that we all need to get on a Quest at some point in our lives, and more so at our age. We need to make sense of our lives. We need to grow a meaning, to extract a meaning, some sort of order and coherence, to grow a soul for what has been happening. At the end of our lives, we will have to let go, one way or another, and it is probably easier to let go of something that you fully understand, or that you understand as much as possible, than something that you have a funny feeling about as being unfinished business.
When we are young, we are into living, not so much into thinking about living!…I told him, and he laughed, as I knew he would.
Then Blaise asked me when I had had the feeling that my personal Quest of months ago had turned into something else. Upon hearing him, I was stunned into silence at first. Did the Quest change into something else? Well, darn it, he is right, it did.
At the beginning of the Journey, I was only looking out for myself. The Going Forth at Guild Halls had been a solitary experience, though lots of people attended.
Then Corwin appeared out of the blue. I cannot imagine living without him now, we have become a melded team. The same happened with the two Elves, Tenwar and Ninraen, and Master Blaise himself. We are a team. Even the wagon and the horses are part of this team.
Then Corwin showed me his Elvenland, and that was a huge discovery, a whole different way of living, a new philosophy. Suddenly my world was peopled with soul friends. So the sensation of being part of a team grew and grew.
And then, of course, I came upon the story of the Khandromas, and how it was important to find the Book, not only for the survival of this Land of Imagi-Nation, but also for real-Earth and the humans.
And then, at one point (I do not exactly remember when, I would have to go through my notes), my solitary Vision Quest turned into a collective mission! The Quest sort of morphed into something else, much more pressing, more urgent, which also gave me the precious gift of a new understanding: we are in this, in this Quest, all of us together, Elvenland, Imagi-Nation and real-Earth. So the Quest became so much more than just looking for the meaning of my own life. It has become a pressing need to understand why the worlds are collapsing.
I told all this to Blaise, while we were crossing the Plain in our homely wagon, the wheels rolling in a hypnotic rhythm that promoted meditation.
It is not the Imagi-Nation that is collapsing, said the Wizard. It is the human forgetfulness of Imagi-Nation that is the cause of the disaster on real-Earth.
His voice was soft, yet so very firm that it penetrated deep into my brain.
Then he went on,
The very existence of the Imagi-Nation is the concrete proof (as it were) of the presence of the Creator/Creatrix in the worlds. Of the creative presence of God, if you will call it that. We are not stones. We are not only animals, though Goddess knows that our links to the animal world are strong.
We are like the humans are and they do not know it, or have forgotten it: the result of a genetic manipulation by Star People who endowed us with consciousness, who infused us with infinite creativity. The collapse is due to our forgetting our Origin, not to any dysfunctional structures of our being, or to dire circumstances.
There was a long silence after that, and the wind howled through the green grasses, like a half-mad she-wolf.