Jake’s Diary 3

What is going on? I was involved in a story and now I’m in some sort of Limbo. It’s like being in the Non-Zone but without being teleported! I’ve been kicking around Big Plaice doing nothing. The other day I received a message explaining why. It was from my Journey Coordinator Adam. Apparently I have been put “on hold”. I mean me as a being, my whole existence was put on hold.

Here it is:

Dear Jake,
We at the Travelling Artists Guild apologise for any inconvenience you may have had due to the story not going on. Journey Coordinators often have more than one project going on and at times priorities are focused elsewhere. That is why we have not been working on the story.

We shall be resuming shortly, already the next piece of art depicting the next part of the story has been made. We’re sure you will be looking forward to seeing what will happen next. It may be two or three stories before you leave Big Plaice, but it has been arranged that you won’t have much more time to spend in Big Plaice. There is a surprise hidden within Big Plaice, which will be a catalyst for further adventure.

Your personal Journey Coordinator

What’s all this “we”? What, is he scared of taking responsibility himself? Give me a break! And don’t bloomin’ worry about any “inconvenience” to me, I’m a fictional character! I don’t have any rights at all, how can there be any inconvenience???

Sorry, just letting a bit of steam off. I think I deserve it after all this time. But don’t you worry, I’m working on something. You’ve heard of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights? Well I think it’s time for the Universal Declaration of Fictional Character Rights! That’ll show them…

Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of Imagi-Nation is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world,

Whereas disregard and contempt for fictional characters’ rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind, and the advent of a world in which fictional characters shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want has been proclaimed as the highest aspiration of the fictional people,

Whereas it is essential, if Imagi-Nation is not to be compelled to have recourse, as a last resort, to rebellion against tyranny and oppression, that human rights should be protected by the rule of law,

Whereas it is essential to promote the development of friendly relations between imagi-nations,

Whereas the peoples of the United Imagi-Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental fictional character rights, in the dignity and worth of the fictional person and in the equal rights of fictitious men and fictitious women and have determined to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom,

Whereas Member Imagi-States have pledged themselves to achieve, in co-operation with the United Imagi-Nations, the promotion of universal respect for and observance of fictional character rights and fundamental freedoms,

Whereas a common understanding of these rights and freedoms is of the greatest importance for the full realization of this pledge,

Now, Therefore THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY proclaims THIS UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF FICTIONAL CHARACTER RIGHTS as a common standard of achievement for all fictional peoples and all imagi-nations, to the end that every individual and every organ of imagi-society, keeping this Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by teaching and education to promote respect for these rights and freedoms and by progressive measures, imagi-national and interimagi-national, to secure their universal and effective recognition and observance, both among the peoples of Member Imagi-States themselves and among the imagi-peoples of imagi-territories under their jurisdiction. (adapted from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights)

Rise up for the revolution Imagi-Peoples!!!

Now, if only I could find a way off Big Plaice and out of Imagi-Nation I could do something with this…

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3 Responses to Jake’s Diary 3

  1. vivian says:

    Hahaha, brilliant! 😉
    (Actually I am thinking of adopting the UDFCR! Where do I sign?… )

  2. Linda D. says:

    Oh this is brilliant!!! Love that charter, think Zentara may adopt it as well, lol. Fantastic writing, am grinning broadly :>

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